Insulting Romance by Cassidy Reyne

It is my great pleasure to welcome fellow author Cassidy Reyne back to the blog today. We will both be attending Authors in Wonderland in Nottingham on 25th July and hope to see you there.

Here she gives her insights into the public attitude to romance novels. Thank you for your time today, Cassidy. What is it that irritates you about the general perception towards the romance genre?

Well, Val, long before I became a writer, I was already aware of something that’s been the subject of much debate — the negative attitude toward romance novels. I think it's time to set the record straight and defend this immensely popular genre that so many of us enjoy. My personal belief is that the negative attitudes toward romance novels are unfounded and unfair. I mean, are romance novels shallow, filled with candy floss, rose-tinted cottages, and sprinklings of fairy dust, or do they offer meaningful stories that explore complex issues, promote diversity and inclusivity, and provide a much-needed escape from the stress and chaos of daily life?

If you mention that you’re reading a romance novel, or have been watching a romantic film or series, you’re often met with a certain amount of derision and upturned noses from others around you. You get comments like “It’s not literary fiction”, “It’s trashy”, “It’s for desperate and lonely women”, “I only read books by serious authors”, “Watching romantic films/series makes you stupid”, and other low-key insults. In those circumstances, it’s not easy to defend your choice of entertainment without launching into a filibuster of how they make you feel or how they’ve helped you look at love from a different angle, complete with helpful quotes, author names, and favourite lines from your cherished copy of Pride and Prejudice or special edition of It Ends With Us.

First, let's take a look at the most common criticism of romance novels — that they're all fluff and no substance. Yes, romance novels often have a meet-cute,  a grumpy single dad, an eternally chirpy best friend, blush-inducing up-against-the-wall moments, and happy endings, but that doesn't mean they lack depth or substance.

These types of stories often explore complex issues such as identity, trauma, and mental health as well as the whole love-aspect. If you’ve read any of mine, you’ll see that this is true. The male main character in one of my books, The Sentinels — Saving Dignity, suffers from deep-rooted PTSD, and the female main character endures manipulation, mental and physical abuse, and emotional blackmail. I don't put that in the story for the fun of it. Each character's struggles are explored and described in visceral detail, and the reader gets to grow with them on their journey to healing and a happier, more fulfilled life.

Romance stories also often showcase diverse characters and relationships, and expose the enormous complexities hidden behind simple interactions between people, which can help readers gain a better understanding of different cultures, societal norms, and experiences.

Yet one more judgment is that romance novels are all the same — a formulaic plot with predictable characters and a predictable ending. Yes, it's true that some romance novels may follow a similar formula, but there are countless romance novels that break the mold and offer unique and innovative storylines. And even if a romance novel does follow a familiar pattern, that doesn't make it any less enjoyable. Sometimes, we just want to curl up with a good book and know that the characters we grow to love will get their happily ever after.

If we compare a romance with, say, a fantasy novel, I think everyone will agree that in many of them, there’s still a small romantic undertone. It just happens not to be the main storyline. Look at Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. Aragorn and Arwen, anyone?

Or just look at the many murder mysteries where the motive for the crime is so often jealousy, unrequited love, or a broken heart.

It's all romance in various forms but used as subplots rather than the main focus.

Another common opinion is the assumption that they're only meant for women. This couldn't be further from the truth. People of all genders and orientations enjoy romance novels. They cover a wide range of sub-genres, from historical romance to paranormal romance to LGBTQ+ romance, and everything in between. They are meant for anyone who enjoys a good love story, regardless of who they are.

One of the most frustrating judgments is that romance novels are unrealistic and promote unhealthy expectations of relationships. Society has long taught us that if we find a partner who doesn’t leave their dirty socks on the floor, who doesn’t spend all their money on escape-room games, and who remembers to buy a card for every other Valentine’s Day, then that’s enough. But here’s the thing. Society is changing. People are changing. Why shouldn’t we expect our partners to be respectful, emotionally connected, and communicative? Who decided that women — and it is predominantly, if not always, women — should be grateful for what we get in a partner?

Here's the thing; these books are meant to be a form of escapism. They're not supposed to be taken as a literal guide for real-life relationships. And while some elements of romance novels may be exaggerated or fantastical, that doesn't make them any less enjoyable or meaningful. Many readers want to revel in a little bit of fantasy and escapism in their reading.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we should use every romantic story ever written, our personal favourites, or even the most admired ones, as case studies for how men and women should treat each other in a relationship. They are not how-to guides or instruction manuals.

They should, however, inspire us to expect more, give more, and cherish more in a relationship. We shouldn’t have to settle for anything less than what makes us feel valued, heard, and loved. If that happens to be in the form of a cinnamon roll, a golden retriever, or a bossy alpha hole — if that’s what we’re looking for — then so much the better.

Let’s set the bar high and give everyone something to aspire to. As the saying goes: Aim for the stars to reach the mountain peaks. We deserve it.

The Author

Cassidy Reyne is the Alter Ego of a Swedish girl living in England. She's been happily married for over 25 years and has two grown up children.

She writes steamy, contemporary romance with some suspense thrown in for fun and excitement and also paranormal romance. Her current series, The Bound by Conviction Series, the Agent of Honor Series, and the State of Grace Series are available in Kindle E-books, Paperbacks and Kindle Unlimited.

Currently living in South London, she fits her writing in with the property business she and her husband run from home.

When she isn't writing, she enjoys spending time with friends, visiting her family on an island in Sweden, and drinking a glass or two of a good wine. Sometimes, she replaces the wine with vodka or rum.

If you would like to connect with Cassidy, you can find her on several social media sites.